Writing Lyrics!

I’ve been feeling a little like Jonah as of late. Regardless of if you’re a christian or not, you probably know the story – God says to Jonah “Go to Ninevah!” (paraphrasing by the way). Jonah says ‘uh, don’t think so!” and ends up on his way to Tarshish instead. I feel like God is asking me to do things that I think I can’t do. And so I’m running away and He’s just waiting for me to come crawling back. Hopefully not in the mouth of a whale.

I had a hard morning. I’m moving out from here on the weekend and a) I’m scared and b) I’m terrified. I cannot slow down time. The move is inevitable. And despite being sure that the change will be good and knowing that God will bring so much good out of it: I still don’t want to do it and it doesn’t make it any easier.

So I message L this morning as she’s going to Wollongong and I say sorry for being a turkey head and that I love her and A a lot. To which she replies “Love you too. And don’t ever forget that.” I’m just getting into the shower when I read it and I just sit on the floor of the shower and cry as the water runs over me, asking Him not to make me do this. But He will, because it’s part of His great plan and who I am to dispute that? So I changed my prayer and asked Him to make it easier and to keep reminding me of His goodness throughout this all.

I started to pack some boxes with books and the like when I had this urge to sing. Not just any song – words that were formulating in my head. I grabbed my trusty yellow notebook and a blue pen (which are rather inferior to black pens) and sat down and wrote.

Here it is.

God I don’t know how to do

All these things You have asked of me

But I know I’ll keep holding on

And You will pull me through

                                                   x 2

You took my hand

You saved my life

You are my friend

You loved me

I am forgiv’n

I am Your child

I ran away

You followed me

Now I’m leaving this behind

And I’m moving forward in life

I’m not running away this time

Please never let me go

Please never let me go.

 

You took my hand

You saved my life

You are my friend

You loved me

I am forgiv’n

I am Your child

I ran away

You followed me

I don’t think it’s quite finished yet, but it does have a tune! I’m a bit of a self-conscious twit however, and may not sing it for anyone yet.

The only thing I want to point out is that God really doesn’t ask a whole heap from us, even though it can so often seem rather overwhelming. I guess at the moment the expectations seem high, but the reality is that they’re non-existent! God asks us to trust in Him, rely on Him, love Him, obey Him and believe in His son. And there’s no way we could ever pay back the great debt we owe by anything we do.

I’m just rambling now (what’s new!) but I really, really urge you to think about what I’ve posted here this afternoon and consider what it means for you right now. Do you know God? Do you trust Him, and trust Him completely? Are you running away from Him?

Where are you at?

B X

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6 thoughts on “Writing Lyrics!

  1. Dear Bek –

    I run away, even at this age, at this point in my long walk with Him, I still run. Especially when times are hard, but like you, HE always reels me back in and brings me to my knees…

    where I lay it at his feet tearfully praying please Lord please!
    XO

  2. Darling Rebekah, I know you’re scared, but you will make it! It will be an adjustment, surely, but I think you will also come to enjoy living on your own. I’m glad your attitude is so positive even though you’re afraid.

    Just on a practical level, do you have a friend or two who could spend the first night with you, or a different friend each night for a few nights? When I moved one time I had a friend sleep over the first night and it really helped.

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