Update time! This may seem ranty and rambly and tiredly written and that is because it is all of those things. So read with caution.
I had a sleepover in ze lovely L & A’s household last night. We ate wonderful salmon for dinner,
watched an intense movie called ‘Get Low’, had a glass of wine and ate custard. It. Was. Happy.
Today I went for my very first post eating-disordered swim. Not sure how to explain exactly how splendid it felt to be in the pool again (without ED in my little brain!) – seriously felt so, so blessed to have the energy to do things like that again. I swam half a kilometre anyway which I think was pretty reasonable – I used to swim 2-3km in my crazy ED days. And I walked Bel Bel for an hour too – plenty of exercise methinks! And ate an extra choccie at supper time to make up for all those calories lost 😉
My ED won me over a little over this evening, however. I didn’t really intend on walking Bella for so long and at one point during the walk googled the phrase “walking for weightloss” on my phone. So yes. That was a little douchy, I will never let myself go back to my old eating disordered ways. I think I have come too far to do such a thing. And I think it would be a slap in the face to a lot of beautiful people who have supported me throughout this whole epic recovery period.
As I was walking along tonight, I was thinking about how when I’m an old woman (okay, in my 30s – so not too old) I really want to be able to teach my children healthy habits in regards to food and exercise. And so I need to make sure that I implement these and continue to change old habits so that I can pass such information on. It will be a responsibility of mine and I want to make sure that I’m in a position to be able to do that.
I’m off to do some journaling – it’s been awhile! Then sweet, wonderful sleep.
And I’ll be feeling the aches and pains of todays exercise tomorrow! Bleargh.