If you have perhaps stumbled across this blog post out of the blue or because I posted it on Facebook and you felt the urge to click on the link – thanks a bunch. I’m glad you’re sitting there reading this.
Whether you have an eating disorder, are trying to recover, have recovered, are in the midst of an all out battle or don’t have an eating disorder whatsoever – this blog post is for you to read. To maybe learn something different, to be challenged. To be reminded of a few things that perhaps aren’t quite clear.
Anyway. I’m getting sidetracked. Here’s what I really wanted to say:
Some days, your eating disorder will win. As in, you won’t always beat it. As in, you won’t feel as if you have the capacity to. And that’s okay. So don’t beat yourself up about it. But don’t let it be a big slip up, continue to move on with your recovery. Your eating disorder might win for one moment or one situation or one day or one week – but it doesn’t get to win forever.
Some days, you’ll miss the eating disorder days. And that’s when you need to tell those around you so that they can remind you how crap your life was back then and how much you now have to look forward to, now that you’re eating disorder free.
Some days, you’re going to be by yourself. Like, with no support. No one you feel you can text and say your day sucks. No one who can give you a cuddle if you feel low. But that’s okay. And you’re okay. It’s a part of recovery and it’s important that you learn to become independent too.
One day, crappy things like eating disorders will be no more. No more pain, suffering, starvation, murder, injustice … No more sin. When Jesus returns. And how glorious that day will be.
Embrace opportunities to be alone. Alone – without your eating disorder. Alone – without your friends. Alone – without your family. Reflect on change in your life. Reflect on your journey and how you have been shaped into the person you are. Journal, sing songs very loudly and terribly. It might not be what you want, but heck – it’s useful.
People love you, think you’re valuable and care about you. So don’t let your eating disorder or equiv. tell you any differently. Ever. It’s offensive to others and it undermines your self-worth. It’s not an area for your eating disorder (or equiv! ;)) can win in.
Some days are happy and some days are sad and there’s crap to be worked through but it’s oh so worth it. Believe me, it’s true.