It’s taken me awhile, but I’ve come to appreciate eating disorder jokes quite a lot. Back when I was stuck in eating disordered habits, L bought me a place mat that said “Eat”. Needless to say, I didn’t really see the humor in it at the time – but now I think it’s hilarious! Other eating disordered jokes have included me telling A I felt sick and him telling me rather flippantly to “go and throw up then” (though he was rather apologetic because he didn’t really think that one through!), making remarks about going on diets so as to weigh less when I next saw my dietitian and eating a wonderful piece of salmon with a pear and walnut salad and then saying “thanks, that was great – going to purge now, however.”
The best part about the last two in particular is that I can make jokes like that these days because there is absolutely zero truth in it – I wouldn’t dare starve myself or dare throw up my food these days. Because I don’t do that any more. Eating disordered behaviours are no longer part of my character – isn’t that a relief!
Tonight I sent S a text about the smaller dinner that C had cooked tonight. It consisted of two salmon patties and a spoonful of peas. It was delicious, just not enough. I don’t mean to sound rude or ungrateful in any sense, so I apologise if I do! He replied “on a brighter note, that once would have been too much!”
How right he is. And I can so appreciate the humor in that, because now I have the ability to laugh at myself and my extreme behaviours. Don’t get me wrong: eating disorders are extremely serious and really shouldn’t be taken lightly at all. But what a wonderful gift I have been given to be able to laugh at myself these days; to not be so serious and to really appreciate the food that I eat and the fact I am alive.
How marvellous God is in bringing me to this point in my recovery. And I really hope He brings you to this point too; not taking yourself so damn seriously all the time!
Love Bekah X