Chocolate Tarts and Hamburgers.

Hi.

I totally ate a hamburger the other night. The works actually; a roll and a meat patty and salad-ey like stuff (lettuce and cheese and beetroot and tomato) and barbecue sauce (the superior sauce) and also ate hot chips and drank lemon lime and bitters. Ahuh. I don’t really care if you think that’s bad because I tend to not do that everyday so it was pretty lovely.

And then the next night I had a maccas caramel sundae (had one last year but purged, so we had to tackle that one again.)

And YESTERDAY I drank not one, but TWO full creamed milk coffees and had a delicious chocolate tart.

So now the only thing left on my scary food list is pizza. And I think I’ll eat it with great success. And hopefully in great company.

I could rattle off a lot of wonderful things that have come about as a result of recovering from an eating disorder. Just the general, you know, putting on necessary kilograms and having a healthy weight again and being able to eat wonderful food now. But I bet you never would have thought that I’d have a least favourite thing.

But I do!

Dun dun dunnnnnn.

The worst part is having to deal with real core issues that the eating disorder was covering up. In many ways, having an eating disorder was so much easier. I didn’t have to FEEL stuff or deal with stuff. I’m pretty much past the stage where I’d return to my eating disorder now, but a few months back I would’ve gotten overwhelmed with how difficult this stage was / is going to be and quit and probably heavily relapsed.

I guess I just want to urge you that … if you’re recovering and you think “there is absolutely no way I can deal with this stuff“, then be brave. Do not take the easy way out. Because as absurd as it sounds and seems, relapsing is the easy way out. I know that this stuff is difficult to deal with. I’m in the same place that you are. But I’m pretty sure this season, this place you’re in and I’m in now, will be a worthwhile one.

You can do eeeet!

Bek Xo.

P.S – this was totally my first post ever from my new laptop. History in the making right here!

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7 thoughts on “Chocolate Tarts and Hamburgers.

  1. Yay! I very much remember being able to cross foods off the list! I recently got to cross off ice cream and crepes from My List…Pizza was one too. Not anymore. I think the last one might be hot dogs. The weird thing is, I don’t think I even like hot dogs. But I still have it on the list of things to tackle. Every so often I have to snap my mental rubber band and say to self, “Hello? You’re eating a cheeseburger!”

    PROUD OF YOU!
    xoxoxox
    The Cockroach

    • Thanks! I was thinking I might actually need to eat fairy bread, I have this thing against it b/c of margarine and I ate too much once at a party when I was little and threw up as a result. But yeah. I don’t think I like it, but I think it’s good to try the foods we fear / think we hate even though we haven’t had them forever.

      Sorry for the ramble, but thanks for your encouragement! XX

  2. Hi Rebekah,

    I have found your blog via your post on MTR’s blog today. And I have just finished reading every single one of your posts. I’m at the beginning stages of working through an eating disorder (ednos) and reading your posts give me so much encouragement. I’m more than twice your age with a whole lot of life experience behind me, but you have a level of maturity about your ED to which I can only HOPE to aspire one day. Thank you so much for your wise words. I’ll be praying for your continued healing.

    • Thank you very very much – so encouraging to know that you read all my posts! There’s quite a few here now and I have changed rather significantly I believe since I started this blog.

      If you ever want to chat or anything or have any worries just let me know – more than happy to help (if I can!) Probably sounds strange coming from someone younger than yourself. And hey, congrats on starting the recovery path. It’s one of the hardest and most worthwhile things you will ever do, I reckon.

      And praying for you too Xo.

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