I totally ate a hamburger the other night. The works actually; a roll and a meat patty and salad-ey like stuff (lettuce and cheese and beetroot and tomato) and barbecue sauce (the superior sauce) and also ate hot chips and drank lemon lime and bitters. Ahuh. I don’t really care if you think that’s bad because I tend to not do that everyday so it was pretty lovely.
And then the next night I had a maccas caramel sundae (had one last year but purged, so we had to tackle that one again.)
And YESTERDAY I drank not one, but TWO full creamed milk coffees and had a delicious chocolate tart.
So now the only thing left on my scary food list is pizza. And I think I’ll eat it with great success. And hopefully in great company.
I could rattle off a lot of wonderful things that have come about as a result of recovering from an eating disorder. Just the general, you know, putting on necessary kilograms and having a healthy weight again and being able to eat wonderful food now. But I bet you never would have thought that I’d have a least favourite thing.
But I do!
Dun dun dunnnnnn.
The worst part is having to deal with real core issues that the eating disorder was covering up. In many ways, having an eating disorder was so much easier. I didn’t have to FEEL stuff or deal with stuff. I’m pretty much past the stage where I’d return to my eating disorder now, but a few months back I would’ve gotten overwhelmed with how difficult this stage was / is going to be and quit and probably heavily relapsed.
I guess I just want to urge you that … if you’re recovering and you think “there is absolutely no way I can deal with this stuff“, then be brave. Do not take the easy way out. Because as absurd as it sounds and seems, relapsing is the easy way out. I know that this stuff is difficult to deal with. I’m in the same place that you are. But I’m pretty sure this season, this place you’re in and I’m in now, will be a worthwhile one.
You can do eeeet!
P.S – this was totally my first post ever from my new laptop. History in the making right here!