I’m writing to let you know that I just drank the dregs of an awful cup of tea. It was gross and has so far been the downfall of my morning.
I also wanted to write and let you know a few things. Like that having an eating disorder or other mental health issue isn’t your fault; it’s actually how you’ve learnt to cope with past experiences. And no, you’re not a complete idiot for not knowing exactly how to get better – in fact, it’s nice that you can see that “better” is actually on the cards, and in the future.
I’d like to let you know that you’re not in control. That you can’t control everything around you. That you can’t control people, you can’t always control how you react to things, you can’t control how you feel sometimes and you definitely can’t control how others think about and perceive you.
Or when there’s so much sadness in you, it’s okay to just let it be there. It’s okay to just sit with your emotions and observe them; we’re always seeking to get rid of our feelings but we don’t actually really need to do that. Emotion is okay! A bizarre fact, but nevertheless true.
I’d like to also remind you that you are not God. As in, you are not God. *insert your name here* is not God. I am not God. We are not God. We can’t make things happen. We can’t change God’s plans. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have brains in our heads and feet in our shoes and aren’t responsible for our own actions (because we are!) but God is sovereign and is ultimately the one who is in control – not us. Be assured I’m not saying this because I’m the best at trusting Him, I’m saying it because it’s something I really need to learn, am in the process of learning and want you to learn too if you need to do so!
I’d like you to know that food isn’t an enemy, but a friend! (especially bacon :))
And that things actually will be okay, eventually. It sounds lame and cliché of me to tell you to keep pushing forward with your recovery because it’s so worthwhile (despite its difficulty) but I’m going to do it anyway: please keep pushing forward with your recovery!
You cannnn doooo eeeet.
Love, Bek Xo.