Sneaky scales: are they an essential?

This morning I’m talking about the good ol’ scales. You might be in recovery from an eating disorder and still have a sneaky pair of scales that you cart around everywhere. You might be a friend of someone who weighs themselves all the damn time. Or you might not have an eating disorder but still have a pair of scales in your bathroom that every now and then you feel the impulse to stand on and disappoint yourself every time. Here’s the thing: I don’t think one recovering from an eating disorder should be weighing themselves – it’s counterproductive. And I don’t think one can be fully recovered from an eating disorder and still desire to weigh themselves incessantly. Obviously, the urge will still come up every now and then but one who is fully recovered – they can make the decision to not weigh, I believe. Continue reading

Sometimes Recovery Sucks.

I’ve probably said it before, but heck – I’ll say it again: eating disorders can be really, really lonely, and really, really isolating. Just the fear of being around people who might notice you’ve lost weight, who might make you eat something, or being around food that you will be tempted to binge on – it’s enough to make any anoretic, bulimic or eating disordered individual want to stay home. And it’s the last eight or nine months, while I’ve been recovery focused, I’ve learnt that one has to rediscover what it’s like to be social all over again. And sometimes it can be scary. Sometimes overwhelming. Sometimes triggering. But as the months go by and you slowly start to get better, being social again becomes easier. Continue reading

How the Bulimic Can Learn to Eat Again.

The title of this blog post may be slightly misleading. Perhaps what I write here isn’t exactly what you’re looking for. I do hope, however, that it is somewhat useful for you regardless. This blog post isn’t a set of instructions which you can follow and then just begin eating normally again. It’s not a step by step guide on how to stop purging. Continue reading

when good intentions go bad.

It’s been a bit of a hectic afternoon here. I had a nap because I was really ridiculously exhausted, ate some easter eggs to boost the energy and decided to go for an afternoon stroll. I barely made it to the bottom of the driveway before some boys who were holidaying nearby came running up asking for help – an elderly lady who lives around the corner had fallen on the driveway and smashed open her head. So spent the next half hour holding her head, cleaning blood up and waiting for the ambulance to come. Needless to say, I didn’t go for a walk – and that was probably a good thing, I already went this morning.

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Exercise Bulimia (and youtube videos)

In case you’re unaware, in recent days I have been making a video every now and then and uploading it to Youtube. I’m ridiculously awkward and a tad boring, but I figured that there are probably a whole lot of people out there who don’t really like reading blogs and learn through visual aids. Hence why I’ve succumbed to the land of Youtube.

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Sydney Writers’ Centre – People’s Choice Award :)

Hi friends!

This post is a tad beside the norm, but I just wanted to let ye all know that in late March I entered this competition after the encouragement of a certain Michael Goldman (hey Michael! :)) SO – now the People’s Choice Award is open and if you feel like filling in a survey and voting for me, I would feel most privileged! It only takes a few minutes – you can find my blog on page 4 of the survey.

Basically, I think this is another useful way to raise awareness about eating disorders and their prevalence in our society – and I feel very blessed to have shared so much with people and have a lot of worthwhile / wonderful conversations. So thanks to all of you for your support in that.

ANYWAY: enough rambling.

Here’s the link.

It’s also located in my sidebar.

Thanks again!

Bek Xo.

P.S – if you’re the Twittering type, #bestblogs2012 is the competition Twitter hash-tag :).

Why Rebekah eats food (and why you should too!)

I used to watch people eating food and not understand. Why were they eating? Why were they eating more than necessary? Why were they eating such exotic foods? And how on earth could they actually eat something for pleasure? I used to ask A all the time why he was eating, much to his amusement and confusion. Continue reading

the awkward moment when rebekah thinks she may actually be relapsing.

Not completely. But Good Friday was a tough day, admittedly! The ED poked its little head out in a way it hasn’t in a long while and I was a bit of a stress-head all day. It was one of those “I can list everything I’ve eaten today because it feels like far too much and I’m going to walk the dog for just a little extra because I feel ridiculously awful” and a “Crap, I’m actually really considering purging right now and the last few months of progress might actually really be wasted if I do that” days.

Not joking, I was seriously frustrated with myself. Like I said, it’s been a long while!

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Safety, and Videos that Refuse to Upload.

Yesterday I made a video to upload on here. I’m not going to lie, I thought it was a brilliant idea. But then it wouldn’t upload. And then I couldn’t upload it on R is for Recovery’s Facebook page. And then I felt sad that I had spoken into a camera for a while and made a video that had no use really. So anyway – I’ll blog about what I talked about in the video at a later date. Essentially, it was about whether the eating disordered are full of themselves. I’d be interested to hear your opinions in the meanwhile!

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