Admittedly, my blog has been slightly neglected in the last two months. In fact, I use the word “slightly” there rather loosely – my blog has been completely, completely neglected in the last few months. It has remained untouched. I haven’t logged into it. I haven’t seen the array of comments that were left on my last post, way back from December 10 until approx. 5 minutes ago when I decided to bite the bullet and get back into the blogging scene.
It’s not that I needed a break, as such, from my blog. I haven’t been busy enough to neglect it entirely. And I definitely haven’t run out of things to say about eating disorders. If you know me well enough, you’ll know I always have something to say about everything.
I suppose what happened was this: I was naive and sat here behind my computer screen telling everyone that recovery wasn’t a straight path and no recovery would ever be perfect and that there are many bumps and hills and rocks and crevasses on the way to being well … and somehow expected something different from myself. I made so much progress last year and had a minimal amount of hiccups along the way – and so I really thought I was entirely well again. The reality is, I’m not perfect (however much I’d like to be) and I managed to relapse towards the end of last year. Something I never, ever saw coming.
So here we are again. bumbling along and starting that long road back up to being healthy and well after a very, very quick spiral back down into the eating disorder.
This post was written to encourage, not discourage. We’re not perfect, so of course our recovery from an eating disorder can’t be perfect either. And it sucks, but it’s also OKAY. Maybe we’ll never reach that stage of being completely and utterly, 100% recovered but the most important thing here is that we keep fighting the eating disorder anyway, regardless of the struggle.