on being a christian & having an eating disorder.

I am a Christian, and I have an eating disorder.

These are two very important things to know about me. That might shock people – a Christian with an eating disorder? What is this? Should they not be mutually exclusive? How can one have both?

It’s a bit of a misconception, really. Christians, just like anyone, are not immune to the struggles and problems that are a surety in our broken and fallen world. Christians suffer, too – with their physical and mental health – just like anyone. ALL individuals are susceptible to pain. This should NOT be something that we are afraid or ashamed to talk about – and this is not something we as Christians should feel guilty for, or beat ourselves up about. We can’t have the exceptional things that this life has to offer without being willing too, to experience the inevitable troubles.

So I’ve been mulling this over a bit lately – the fact that in these last two years since I’ve relapsed, many, many people have prayed and ARE praying for me. Heck, I’ve prayed about my eating disorder; for healing of both mind and body and restoration and clarity too. So I don’t get it. Why hasn’t He healed me yet? Why hasn’t He saved me? What did I do? Or what I am NOT doing, even? I’ve been asking these questions a lot in recent times.

Here’s something that struck me last night: I HAVE been saved. Perhaps not in the way that I, along with others, have incessantly prayed for – but nevertheless, I have been – and AM – saved, because of Jesus. Furthermore, I can live with the confidence that I will one day be healed and free from my eating disorder. That is a promise. That is a truth. That, my friends, is a surety like none other.

And this isn’t only true for me – it’s true for you, too. We can question it all we like – why me, why now, why for this long, when will it end? – etc, but that won’t enable us to overcome the eating disorder. What WILL help us in overcoming this heck of a battle is trusting that God has a plan somewhere in there to save us – knowing that God will give us both the strength and the courage to continue fighting the eating disorder – and nourishing our mind and our body adequately, in order to think clearly – and to make that choice, each and every day to do just that, despite the anguish and distress it is bound to cause. It’s obviously not that simple, and there’s clearly much more to recovery – but it’s definitely a good place to start.

So … here’s to holding on and having hope. Cheers.

Love,
Bekah.

P.S – I am profoundly aware that this blog post may stir up some comments, and that some people may have some issues with things that I’ve written here. Am completely, 100% open to discussion.
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10 thoughts on “on being a christian & having an eating disorder.

  1. Bek,

    As you may be aware, my wife and I are going through the process of Immigration so she can come home to live here in our beautiful country. As we wait…and wait…and wait, my faith has been sorely tested. I find myself angry that it is taking so long – “Why doesn’t God just make it happen already? He knows we love each other and Him and that should be all that matters.” (Or words to that effect!)

    However, over the weekend, I came to a realisation – God allowed Jo and I to find each other and to make each others lives richer and, for that, there should never be any anger. I leave it all in His hands and know that, when the time is right, He will deliver her back to me – according to His plan.

    So, I think somewhere along the way that was relevant…somewhere…

    Be strong and stall tall in your faith,

    Paul

  2. Your words are eye-opening and so very true, and I am thankful for the reminder. Despite the current chains of an eating disorder which surround us, God has promised that we will one day be free. And that hope is eternal.

    Keep fighting and trusting The Lord.

    xx

  3. I am not a Christian, far from it, but I have the up most respect for those who are.

    Stay with your faith, if that is what helps, and stay strong. You are an inspirational lady.

    xx

  4. Bek this is so good. I found God through my eatting disorder and while I still battle daily I know He is good and has purposed everything for a reason. Remember that He doesn’t make mistakes and can see good plans for us which we can’t see yet.

    God bless

    Stay strong

  5. Bekah,

    For starters I am so proud of you for being vulnerable and opening yourself up like this to God and to others. It takes serious courage. I am also amazed at the faith that you have while in the mist of this struggle. It’s truly inspiring.

    I wanted to let you know that you WILL recover. I have total faith that God will heal and free you from this horrible disease. I can say this with full confidence because I’ve been there. Not all that long ago either. I was anorexic for most of my teenage years and the longer I went without help and without God the worse it got. But it also got really bad after I became a Christian my senior year of high school and went to a Christian college that following year. I was dealing with other things as well and couldn’t understand why this God that I finally believed in wasn’t fixing me. But I’ve learned that healing and freedom and even transformation doesn’t happen in our timing or on our terms. It’s all up to God- and He doesn’t leave us hanging. I’ve also learned that God can’t do anything in your life unless you let Him. He can’t heal or free you unless you’re willing to let Him work in your life and you’re really ready to make a change. It seems like you’re at least in the place where you want to change and get better and recover. Which is a really good start. But, if you feel like you aren’t making any progress or you can’t do it on your own or anything else, I encourage you to think and pray about a program called Mercy Ministries. Its a free of charge program for girls ages 13-28 that is 100% Christ centered. It’s not for everybody, but It’s where I went to get help and it was there that God was finally able to work in me the way He had wanted to for years. You don’t have to go obviously, but its something to think about. And you’re more than welcomed to ask me any questions about it- I don’t mind at all. But, no matter what you decide to do, I know you will recover and learn to live a life full of God’s freedom and love.

    Praying for you!
    ~Lauren

  6. Can I just say I really love your blog!? I am in recovery for an eating disorder I developed about year ago and I am a Christian as well. I’m actually very fortunate that my E.D. is fairly mild compared to most people and that I was able to recognize it before it became too big a problem, but I also suffer from other mental illnesses and sometimes it feels so difficult dealing with something that’s often somewhat taboo in a Christian (and other) environment. Your blog helps me not feel alone, or like I’m a “lesser: Christian for struggling with these issues, so thank you so much for that! 🙂

  7. I’ve never been a cryer-and in fact I hate it- but this brought me to tears. I have found that while I have been struggling through an ed, my faith has been questioned…by myself. I have little hope in my life right now that things can look up, but this has given me more hope. It’s a refreshing thought to remember that I am saved, even if not in a way that I would wish to be sometimes in my life.

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