You Don’t Have to Hit Rock Bottom Before You Ask for Help.

I feel like in society, there’s this idea that we can’t ask for help until all hell breaks loose, until we’re in complete crisis, until we’re having a major meltdown, until the shit hits the fan… However you want to put it, our pride can often stop us from asking for help until we absolutely need it. We wait until we’re at rock bottom before asking for advice, asking for a hand with our uni work, asking for a shoulder to cry on, asking for help to follow our meal plan, asking for accountability for something we may be struggling with. This isn’t even specific to eating disorders – I think to some degree, this can be true of us all at various times throughout our lives. Continue reading

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the worst that can happen.

This morning I had a cup of milk on my cereal. I know it was a cup, because I measured it. This is not something I usually do. This morning I had to force myself to measure out a cup of milk, as per my dietitian’s request, because this is not something I usually do and whilst I measure my cereal I do not measure my milk. I have always pronounced this to health professionals triumphantly – I do not measure my milk, therefore I am not obsessive and I can be flexible and I am smashing this whole recovery thing. Continue reading

For When the Battle Seems Never-Ending.

Long time, no blog. I’ve had lots of ideas floating around in my mind about things I’ve wanted to write about, but I haven’t been able to string the words together quite as I’ve wanted to. I figured though, that I may as well give it a crack. This blog post is something I’ve been thinking about recently, something I’ve needed to write for myself and be reminded of, and something I’ve wanted to write for those who may also be at a crossroads similar to my own. So here we have it – a blog about the overwhelming nature of recovery from an eating disorder. Thanks for reading, pals. X

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onwards & upwards

If you know me well or read my blog every now and then, you’ll probably know that at the beginning of December, after a wee bit of a trigger, I somehow slipped back into my eating disordered ways. A shock, to say the least – but to be expected, given that recovery from an eating disorder will never, ever be entirely straightforward  – something I’ve been preaching for a little while now.

So today after setting a meal plan with my dietitian, I realised that again, something has to change and that again, I need to start the slow climb back up to being well. And healthy. And to be honest with you guys, I really, really miss apricot pie. And many other delicious foods.

So how does one do that, exactly? Continue reading

good food, bad food or just… food?

I’d just like to quickly point out that I missed my blogs one year birthday back at the end of October – sad! I did eat some cake in celebration though, and perhaps you can all join me in that next year! I must say, I never really thought this blog would be going for so long – and that I’d still have things to say about eating disorders after all this time. So thank you guys for hanging in there with me throughout this journey, it’s been a privilege. Now onto the excellent topic of food… Continue reading

I Wrote this for You (and you and you…) pt 3

Part one can be found here and part two here. Feel free to check them out. They aren’t directed at anyone in particular (well, maybe you (and maybe you too)) but rather, are meant to be general in their content. This letter in particular is an interesting one – it comes from the other side of the fence, from a recovered mindset and is directed at someone who may still feel trapped by their eating disorder, or who is in recovery. Continue reading

D is for Dieting

As per the norm, I sat down to begin writing an essay for college and was distracted by thoughts of blogging. I haven’t been doing a great deal lately (which I suspect is because my eating disorder doesn’t have a role in defining who I am these days) but I’ve reached a new milestone just this weekend – 6 months bulimia free, at last! Bring on the next 6 months. It shall be exciting to see what God has in store.

In the last few days I have been thinking about the notion of dieting – and thus this blog post is relevant not only for those who may have eating disorders or who are in recovery, but also for parents and friends and grandparents and young people and boy and girls and adolescents and anyone else I have forgotten. Because (and forgive me if I’m wrong) dieting is something that affects all of us in one way or another and if we haven’t toyed with the idea of it ourselves, then our wife or child or aunty or friend or father probably has. So yes. Shall we proceed? Continue reading