You Don’t Have to Hit Rock Bottom Before You Ask for Help.

I feel like in society, there’s this idea that we can’t ask for help until all hell breaks loose, until we’re in complete crisis, until we’re having a major meltdown, until the shit hits the fan… However you want to put it, our pride can often stop us from asking for help until we absolutely need it. We wait until we’re at rock bottom before asking for advice, asking for a hand with our uni work, asking for a shoulder to cry on, asking for help to follow our meal plan, asking for accountability for something we may be struggling with. This isn’t even specific to eating disorders – I think to some degree, this can be true of us all at various times throughout our lives. Continue reading

the worst that can happen.

This morning I had a cup of milk on my cereal. I know it was a cup, because I measured it. This is not something I usually do. This morning I had to force myself to measure out a cup of milk, as per my dietitian’s request, because this is not something I usually do and whilst I measure my cereal I do not measure my milk. I have always pronounced this to health professionals triumphantly – I do not measure my milk, therefore I am not obsessive and I can be flexible and I am smashing this whole recovery thing. Continue reading

For When the Battle Seems Never-Ending.

Long time, no blog. I’ve had lots of ideas floating around in my mind about things I’ve wanted to write about, but I haven’t been able to string the words together quite as I’ve wanted to. I figured though, that I may as well give it a crack. This blog post is something I’ve been thinking about recently, something I’ve needed to write for myself and be reminded of, and something I’ve wanted to write for those who may also be at a crossroads similar to my own. So here we have it – a blog about the overwhelming nature of recovery from an eating disorder. Thanks for reading, pals. X

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V is for Value (s)

Lately I’ve been thinking about my values –  mulling over what it is that is most important to me, the things in my life that I love and treasure; what I want to fill my life with – and the values which I’d like to live my life by. I’ve particularly been thinking about it this evening, because I’ve essentially ditched bible study / ditched spending time with people whom I care about deeply so I can sit at home feeling sorry for myself and stay stuck in the routine that my eating disorder presently has happening.  Continue reading

You Can’t Pick & Choose.

It’s unfortunate, really – to the eating disorder, anyhow. But recovery can’t happen without giving it everything. Challenging everything. Challenging every single behaviour that your eating disorder has ever inflicted upon you, and choosing, each and every time and in each and every moment, to not engage in that particular behaviour.  Continue reading

Letting it go.

Some of the most intelligent people I know, coincidentally, are those who all have one thing in common: their eating disorder. Not only are they incredibly clever, they are also emotionally intelligent and can have an enormous amount of empathy for those around them who are experiencing hardship themselves.  Continue reading

Appreciating Our Bodies.

Today I went for my first Spring swim and marvelled at what my body could do and at how amazing it felt to swim laps. I think it’s one of my main reasons for loving swimming so much: every time I swim, I become overwhelmed with gratitude. I can now get in a pool, swim laps without having to count every single one, stop and take a breather if I want to, don’t have to go at any particular speed, can get out whenever I feel like it and, best of all, don’t have to avoid eating afterwards. In fact, it’s one of the first things I do now! So as I was swimming and mulling over ideas for blogs, I thought this: our bodies are amazing. YOUR body is amazing. They do many, many things for us and really, most of the time we don’t even realise it. So hopefully, this blog post serves as a reminder of all your body does for you … and makes you very appreciative of that! Continue reading