Mental Illness is not a Flaw in Character.

We’re not very good as a society at talking about mental health. It’s awkward. It’s kind of gross, all that vulnerability that is felt when you put yourself out there and share parts of life that aren’t all that nice. We fear people will judge us, that we will be seen as attention seeking, looking for sympathy. It’s just generally not a nice vibe. And so we conceal it all inside of ourselves, and we become inauthentic because we aren’t being our true selves with friends and family

But there is so much courage and bravery to be seen and found when we can speak openly and honestly – and so much goodness can be found in it too. Healing can only be found when we speak up and speak out.

Mental health is still such a taboo topic, which legit just makes zero sense when so many of us are walking around experiencing, having had experienced, or knowing someone who has gone through their own mental health struggle. I hate to own up to this, but surely I’m not the only one – if there’s someone on the bus muttering to themselves or a homeless woman sitting in the middle of the city yelling nonsensical words at people walking by – I’ll avert my eyes. Why? Why do we instinctively do this?

I often feel a lot of shame for my mental health issues – like I should just be able to “get over it” or “suck it up” or not have it be such a huge part of my life. But it’s not a conscious decision. It’s not like I choose to have the negative or unhelpful thoughts that flood my brain. They’re just THERE. I reckon we’re scared to talk about our mental health because society generally sees it as some kind of flaw in character – I 100% know this is NOT the case in other people, but the shame I feel directly corresponds with that thought. That having an eating disorder, experiencing anxiety and depression says something about ME, about who I am as a person. That I’m less of a person. Or something. Less than others. Less than.

Man, it’s so clichéd but I’m going to pull out this ol’ analogy anyway – would we tell someone who’s broken their leg or who has a physical disability or who had just been diagnosed with cancer that they had chosen that illness for themselves? That if only they could think positively enough then their illness would be done with? That the broken leg or the physical disability or the cancer was a flaw in their character; that it says something about who they are as a person? I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t. So why do we do this with depression or OCD or anxiety or eating disorders? Why do we do this with any mental health issue? The brain is an organ too. It can be re-wired and re-worked and thoughts and behaviours can be worked on and changed – but it’s not like someone just pops out of the womb and says to themselves, “hm, I reckon I might live this life of mine with depression” or wakes up one day and says “huh, maybe I’ll just develop social anxiety and have that impact and ruin my life and relationships.”

Mental health disorders are not a choice we make. There is no shame in talking about them. There is no shame in sharing authentically. They say nothing about who we are as a person; they are NOT a flaw in character. Mental health disorders are a REAL illness experienced by lots of people – more than you might realise. There’s a lot we can learn from others when we share our experiences and our stories – so pipe up; be brave. I want to hear your story if you’re willing and feeling brave enough to expose parts of yourself that others may not have seen yet. Vulnerability is painful and scary, but freedom can be found there.

Bek x