Tonight’s blog post comes from someone I’ve talked to through my blog. His name is Tyler, and Tyler has experienced an eating disorder. I asked him if he would be willing to share that experience with us so we are better able to understand that eating disorders aren’t just something that happen with girls – anyone, regardless of gender or age is at risk. And Tyler agreed! Which I am very thankful for. Hope it’s useful for you, friends.
I’m sitting on my bed at the moment, casually eating chocolate, yoghurt and an apple for dinner / supper (I’ve been sick this week, no judgings!) thinking about the exam that I really need to be studying for that’s occurring tomorrow but getting epic urges to be blogging and song-writing and laying down horizontal in my bed sleeping away festy infections – so I’m shoving the studying and the sleeping aside for the next half hour or so and getting rid of the writing cravings and dropping chocolate crumbs on my laptop in the meantime.
Oh, by the way. This is one of those epic, ranty, stereotypical “I hate ye eating disorder!” *waves fist angrily* letters, yeah. Grab your own chocolate and make sure you’re comfortable and your brain is in gear – blog post may contain ramblings and chocolate crumbs and a wee bit of joy and perhaps a pinch of sadness.
The title of this blog post feels WONDERFUL to write. Absolutely wonderful. Because at the end of this month, I will be 6 months bulimia free which is a very, very big achievement – and I’m ridiculously proud because I know that I’ve worked hard to change behaviours and it has paid off. I ALSO know that I’m had some very wonderful people pull me out of some very sticky spots and that I wouldn’t have had any of this strength to beat the ED without them, or without our wonderful, reliable and faithful heavenly Father :).
I know. A post two days in a row! A rare thing for me these days – so I hope you don’t mind my blog taking up your feed for just a while – because I want to share something rather precious with you all.
So this post was written by a teacher from my high school – her name is Keturah and lots of you will probably know her and value her as much as I do! I feel privileged that she said yes when I asked her to write something for my blog and I hope the post gives you some more insight into … my past. And eating disorders. And my eating disordered past. And how these things don’t just affect the individual, they affect lots of others too. Continue reading →
Yes, as I said in my last post ‘A is for Anorexia’, it would be ideal to do this whole Alphabet Series thing with some sort of structure – but it’s not going to happen, because I get different ideas for different posts at the most random of times. Apologies if your brain is the OCD type and would prefer if I did it in order! But yeah, not going to happen.
So today I’ve been thinking about the concept of growing up – as in, what a scary thing it is for a lot of people – and I’m not even just talking about people with eating disorders, but lots of people of various ages, male or female. For a lot of us, growing up is terrifying and a very real fear. So at what point do we bite the bullet, so to speak? (ahhhh clichés!!) Or when will we start to take responsibility for our own actions and emotions?
As I mentioned a few weeks back now, I intend on doing an ‘Alphabet Series’ of sorts. I probably won’t write in chronological order (though that would be ideal). If you have any suggestions to make for a particular letter, feel free to go here and leave a comment. It seemed rather fitting to do a series like this due to the title of my blog – but also so we can mull out a few of the issues associated with eating disorders.
I’ve tried to make this blog as straightforward, honest and truthful as I possibly can. I don’t always write here if I’m struggling in a particular eating disordered way, but often I do. That has become something that I have done less and less lately – a good thing, really – particularly as I continue my recovery. In fact, I’m pretty much recovered, I’d say. I still have an aversion to white bread and this morning I had porridge for breakfast instead of raisin toast because the only raisin toast in the freezer was the cafe style one which has more calories and scares me – but perhaps next time I’ll opt for that just to prove that I really can.