T is for Thankfulness

I’m pretty sure I’ve written a blog post about thankfulness before. I’ve also written a post on ‘Small Things’ that I had achieved back in November last year that I was feeling pretty pleased about. But I feel the need to write yet another post today on thankfulness because a) we can’t ever run out of things to be thankful for and b) this is my 100th blog post (Yay!) and c) today I feel very, very thankful for lots and lots and lots of things and hope to share them with you.

Facts VS. Feelings (and a pinch of writers block)

I’ve tried to make this blog as straightforward, honest and truthful as I possibly can. I don’t always write here if I’m struggling in a particular eating disordered way, but often I do. That has become something that I have done less and less lately – a good thing, really – particularly as I continue my recovery. In fact, I’m pretty much recovered, I’d say. I still have an aversion to white bread and this morning I had porridge for breakfast instead of raisin toast because the only raisin toast in the freezer was the cafe style one which has more calories and scares me – but perhaps next time I’ll opt for that just to prove that I really can.

Sneaky scales: are they an essential?

This morning I’m talking about the good ol’ scales. You might be in recovery from an eating disorder and still have a sneaky pair of scales that you cart around everywhere. You might be a friend of someone who weighs themselves all the damn time. Or you might not have an eating disorder but still have a pair of scales in your bathroom that every now and then you feel the impulse to stand on and disappoint yourself every time. Here’s the thing: I don’t think one recovering from an eating disorder should be weighing themselves – it’s counterproductive. And I don’t think one can be fully recovered from an eating disorder and still desire to weigh themselves incessantly. Obviously, the urge will still come up every now and then but one who is fully recovered – they can make the decision to not weigh, I believe.

Make Time For Fun!

I’m currently in the process of writing an essay which I’m 70% sure is due on Monday and listening to Lisa Mitchell sing at the same time – it’s a big distraction! I stop every few minutes and join in with Lisa singing about how sidekicks are important and then I realise I still have a lot of words to write on my essay so heck, why not write a blog post instead.

I feel like I’m doing the HSC all over again.

No longer defined by an eating disorder.

Sitting here eating raisin toast with raspberry jam and honey (and margarine!), wearing a giant jumper and looking sadly at the weather outside. What a strange summer we have had thus far.

Today I looked up eating disorder statistics and whilst I’ve always known that Anorexia Nervosa has the highest death rate of any mental illness, I didn’t realise quite how bad things were. Since 2004, there has been 218 deaths related to eating disorders in the United States alone. Japan is not all that far behind with 186 deaths.  Australia comes in at #8 on the list with 8 deaths, which is obviously a great deal less than the two aforementioned countries. But the point here is that these are deaths that should never have occurred. Regardless if there was 1 death, 500 deaths – this is an issue that needs to be sufficiently dealt with to prevent climbing hospitalisations and death rates – and something that a lot of people are able to help out with and potentially make change in as we continue to raise eating disorder awareness.

During the bulimic days, I never saw a way out. I thought I would either have my eating disorder for the rest of my life (and what a sad life that would be) or I would die. Thankfully, neither outcomes have ensued and I can sit here and type this today with both a healthy body and mind. It is actually possible to recover from this. My eating disorder can no longer prevent me from having healthy relationships, or one day getting married, or having children. It can’t stop me from going to university or bible college or travelling or whatever I decide to do with my life. It no longer dictates and defines me because it now has no control in my life.

God is the one who defines me, and so He will for the rest of my life.

Love, Rebekah X