You Don’t Have to Hit Rock Bottom Before You Ask for Help.

I feel like in society, there’s this idea that we can’t ask for help until all hell breaks loose, until we’re in complete crisis, until we’re having a major meltdown, until the shit hits the fan… However you want to put it, our pride can often stop us from asking for help until we absolutely need it. We wait until we’re at rock bottom before asking for advice, asking for a hand with our uni work, asking for a shoulder to cry on, asking for help to follow our meal plan, asking for accountability for something we may be struggling with. This isn’t even specific to eating disorders – I think to some degree, this can be true of us all at various times throughout our lives. Continue reading

the worst that can happen.

This morning I had a cup of milk on my cereal. I know it was a cup, because I measured it. This is not something I usually do. This morning I had to force myself to measure out a cup of milk, as per my dietitian’s request, because this is not something I usually do and whilst I measure my cereal I do not measure my milk. I have always pronounced this to health professionals triumphantly – I do not measure my milk, therefore I am not obsessive and I can be flexible and I am smashing this whole recovery thing. Continue reading

For When the Battle Seems Never-Ending.

Long time, no blog. I’ve had lots of ideas floating around in my mind about things I’ve wanted to write about, but I haven’t been able to string the words together quite as I’ve wanted to. I figured though, that I may as well give it a crack. This blog post is something I’ve been thinking about recently, something I’ve needed to write for myself and be reminded of, and something I’ve wanted to write for those who may also be at a crossroads similar to my own. So here we have it – a blog about the overwhelming nature of recovery from an eating disorder. Thanks for reading, pals. X

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taking a moment to just not care.

On Tuesday, I had a fairly average, tiring day. I was quite distressed by various foods that I’d eaten and as a result, had experienced a big panic attack which was incredibly frightening. I slept a lot of the afternoon after that, hoping to make the rest of the day go as quickly as it possibly could.   Continue reading

In 2 or 4 or 5 Years Time…

Lately, I’ve been out of touch with my blog. In fact, I’ve been out of touch for pretty much the last year and a half. I apologise for that. It’s been a rough 18 months and I’m managing to slowly clamber back out of this ED hole I tripped back into – so here we are. Blogging again. Hopefully it starts to become a regular thing and can be of use to people! Plus, I’ve missed chu guys. Given I’ve not been writing as regularly, I’m a little out of practice at skilfully stringing sentences together – I apologise in advance for that too. Let’s see how we go, shall we?! Continue reading

P is for Perception.

Today’s blog post is about the role that perception can play when it comes to eating disorders – about the accuracy (or inaccuracy) that an individual might have when it comes to perceiving their bodies and what they truly look like.

It’s no secret that often, people who are suffering with an eating disorder can have a distorted view of themselves – ie, they perceive themselves as bigger than they are, or perhaps even see themselves as overweight – despite being underweight or within a healthy weight range. This is generally linked to Anorexia Nervosa, but is not only limited to that particular disorder. Continue reading

V is for Value (s)

Lately I’ve been thinking about my values –  mulling over what it is that is most important to me, the things in my life that I love and treasure; what I want to fill my life with – and the values which I’d like to live my life by. I’ve particularly been thinking about it this evening, because I’ve essentially ditched bible study / ditched spending time with people whom I care about deeply so I can sit at home feeling sorry for myself and stay stuck in the routine that my eating disorder presently has happening.  Continue reading

You Can’t Pick & Choose.

It’s unfortunate, really – to the eating disorder, anyhow. But recovery can’t happen without giving it everything. Challenging everything. Challenging every single behaviour that your eating disorder has ever inflicted upon you, and choosing, each and every time and in each and every moment, to not engage in that particular behaviour.  Continue reading