giving myself permission to give in to the process of recovery

I’ve been considering blogging for a while now, but I haven’t felt like I’ve all that much to say. I’m not sure I’ve actually written this so explicitly before, but I actually tend to avoid blogging when things aren’t going so well in my world; if I’m engaging in eating disordered behaviours or whatever – who am I to be sitting here dishing out advice when things aren’t going great on my end? I feel pretty hypocritical even just considering it. So now you know – if I haven’t blogged in a while, it might be a sign that things aren’t good. It might also be a sign that things are great and I’m off living my life without a lot of time to focus on my blog or my eating disorder.

Anyway. That doesn’t happen to be the case this time around, unfortunately. Continue reading

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Scotland & London.

It’s been just over a week since Dad and I flew back into Sydney from our week and a half in Scotland and London and I’ve been hanging out to blog about our time over there and the impact the trip has had on my recovery. I’m currently in the process of moving house and finishing my very last assignment before I graduate so whilst I’ve been trying to prioritise those things; my eagerness to write this has finally won out in the end. Continue reading

You Don’t Have to Hit Rock Bottom Before You Ask for Help.

I feel like in society, there’s this idea that we can’t ask for help until all hell breaks loose, until we’re in complete crisis, until we’re having a major meltdown, until the shit hits the fan… However you want to put it, our pride can often stop us from asking for help until we absolutely need it. We wait until we’re at rock bottom before asking for advice, asking for a hand with our uni work, asking for a shoulder to cry on, asking for help to follow our meal plan, asking for accountability for something we may be struggling with. This isn’t even specific to eating disorders – I think to some degree, this can be true of us all at various times throughout our lives. Continue reading

the worst that can happen.

This morning I had a cup of milk on my cereal. I know it was a cup, because I measured it. This is not something I usually do. This morning I had to force myself to measure out a cup of milk, as per my dietitian’s request, because this is not something I usually do and whilst I measure my cereal I do not measure my milk. I have always pronounced this to health professionals triumphantly – I do not measure my milk, therefore I am not obsessive and I can be flexible and I am smashing this whole recovery thing. Continue reading

For When the Battle Seems Never-Ending.

Long time, no blog. I’ve had lots of ideas floating around in my mind about things I’ve wanted to write about, but I haven’t been able to string the words together quite as I’ve wanted to. I figured though, that I may as well give it a crack. This blog post is something I’ve been thinking about recently, something I’ve needed to write for myself and be reminded of, and something I’ve wanted to write for those who may also be at a crossroads similar to my own. So here we have it – a blog about the overwhelming nature of recovery from an eating disorder. Thanks for reading, pals. X

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So this thing happened…

Where I became really pissed off at the system and how crap it is and how hard it is to access care, and I wrote this letter to Jillian Skinner (the minister for health here in Aus) and I’d really appreciate it if you gave it a squiz and got pissed off too. ‘Kay, thanks.
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In 2 or 4 or 5 Years Time…

Lately, I’ve been out of touch with my blog. In fact, I’ve been out of touch for pretty much the last year and a half. I apologise for that. It’s been a rough 18 months and I’m managing to slowly clamber back out of this ED hole I tripped back into – so here we are. Blogging again. Hopefully it starts to become a regular thing and can be of use to people! Plus, I’ve missed chu guys. Given I’ve not been writing as regularly, I’m a little out of practice at skilfully stringing sentences together – I apologise in advance for that too. Let’s see how we go, shall we?! Continue reading